Grateful.

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Thanksgiving.    A hijacked day.  A forgotten day.  Stuck in between Halloween and “the holidays.”  Whatever.  No one gives a shit anyway.

But, I forgot to give thanks.  I almost died.  Seriously.  Because I did not recognize how grateful I am to be alive.

I need to give thanks.  I need to be grateful.  I am grateful for you comments.  I am grateful for your encouragement.   Thank you.

It is hard for me to write.  I never learned phonics.  I hate reading.  I have no attention span.  I don’t even know what to write.  I get scared.  I get self-conscious.

Every time I hit publish I am scared.  I am frightened.  What if no one reads me?   What if this sucks?  Is this just a waste of time? Screw this, I should just go watch South Park.

But I wouldn’t have it any other way.   I need to be scared.  I need to be afraid.  Because then that means I have stretched my boundaries.  No more scared little boy.  Time to be a man.  And only then can I get better.

Thank you.  Thank you for keeping me going.  Thank you for reminding me you are out there.

Happy Thanksgiving.

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